Pain

Why do I run from the one thing I know I’m here, put on this planet to do?

I am here to tell you about pain… I’m here to tell humans there will be pain. Asking for support is optional.

Here is a news flash.. there is nothing wrong with asking for support.

We do not have to shadow our asking with vocabulary such as God. We do not have to prove we deserve support. We don’t have to shroud the asking with words of prayer, energy, or light.

Closing my eyes, allow the pain to speak to me. What are the needs? physical, metal, spiritual. Hell… the needs may not be needs at all, but wants to you… What’s wrong with that…?

The “wrong” is when it’s not honest.

Let’s talk about honesty.

Humans will judge asked needs and attempt to match them up with what each one of us has in our own personal rolodex of experience. If the vocabulary is the same, if the shared experience is potent enough action might be taken. If the honest work has been put into the relationship, action might be taken. I ask the question…. what do we do when neither of the former have been executed? Where do we land with the rest….. the inbetween.. where we are finding our way with our Facebook/instagram/twitter friends. Are needs right or wrong? Are they too much, are we limiting support? Is it a pie? When does it all come across as selfish, too needy? and will I be thrust into the shunned, or be made a martyr…..

All for what? To stay in the group, to feel included, do not be labeled an outsider.

The thing I have been put here on this planet to do is inform there is pain. There is no running from it. The human experience depends on pain and the expression of pain. To write, to review, to empathize, to publish. The creation of a space where we have allowed ourselves to be in pain, ask for help, and not be judged for the asking…. the feeling to add in just the “right” key words to let just the “right” folks know im speaking to them. The need to add filler words, no longer having the truth be the forefront, instead lurks in the shadows. The filler is what separates you from me. If I say “please pray for me” or “namaste”. I’ve pigeonholed myself, and I have pigeonholed you.

Ego.

Yeah let that sink in.

How many of us are screening by hiding behind vocabulary. Creating separation between you and me.

Ask for your needs. Even if we think another will judge us for being wants.

Once again what I have been put on this planet to do, 100% inside my heart, is challenging. The push and pull of the internets, the written word, pen to paper, streaming. So many different avenues that I get confused, not so much confused that’s a lie. I become lazy. I become defeated. I start to to believe the self talk that says my story does not matter and that there are already enough authors, writers, showman, and podcaster. The world does not need one more that thinks their opinion means more than someone else.

I’m not sure what has allowed me to be slightly different.

I don’t even know if I am.